Lessons from Iceland

For those of you who know me, it should be no surprise that I cherish the opportunity to visit new places. I believe that it not only expands your knowledge, but it also gives you a healthy split from the comforts and crutches of the familiar. Forced to work your way through uncomfortable situations, you grow. Compelled to work through new languages, currencies, and customs, you literally create new neural pathways and open your heart to new connections. My recent trip to Iceland was indeed an opportunity of connections and exploration of the human spirit shaped by this untamed land of ice and fire.

Iceland is the least densely populated country in Europe with only 400,000 inhabitants. To put it in perspective, there are twice as many sheep roaming freely than there are humans. The Icelandic people grow up with an understanding that volcanic and glacier activity can uproot their livelihood at any moment; while on the flip side it provides a natural paradise of waterfalls, thermal baths, geysers, black sand beaches, and an abundance of clean energy sources. On an island dominated by the elements, there are many lessons to be learned. I've chosen four that I'd like to share.

1. Make your plans according to the weather.

Seljalandsfoss Waterfall, Iceland

I’ve never been to a place where the weather is more variable and unpredictable than Iceland. You can experience all four seasons in one day. Positioned in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, the weather features frequent storms and whipping winds. Yet when cold air from the Arctic mixes with the warm waters of the Gulf Stream, it triggers rapid changes. Temperatures, wind, clouds, and visibility can change in minutes.

Due to this unpredictable nature, the people have a saying: “Make your plans according to the weather." What a contrast this is from most people in the US, who are constantly filling their calendars months in advance, and praying for nice weather less they have to stay home or take a “rain check”. Icelanders, on the other hand, have a much more fluid approach, surveying what the day presents, and only then naming the time and the place. And further, when the weather takes a turn, they in turn adjust to plan B, C, or D. They cheerfully claim, “There is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.”

As I learned these common phrases, I couldn’t help but smile and think, “What a wonderful key to happiness.” Isn’t so much of our unhappiness a result of unmet expectations? Whether we are actually talking about the weather, or any external variable, discomfort arises when we are attached to an expected outcome that doesn’t get met. This attachment creates resistance to allowing the day to unfold naturally, and with a clouded mind and lowered energy, we often miss the next budding opportunity. However, when we have no expectations of the weather, we can embrace what the day brings, come prepared for anything, and make clear choices by remaining in the present without being preoccupied by worry or regret. In essence, in our willingness to step bravely into the unknown, we surrender to our creative energy that works with the universe, not against it. Make your plans according to the weather.

2. Nurture a deep sense of community.

The saga of human survival is at the heart of Iceland’s history. The Norse people who inhabited this fierce and majestic land in the late 9th century had no easy feat. Iceland's remote location and harsh climate with long winters, volcanic activity, and limited arable land, presented significant challenges. In order to survive, the people needed to rely on each other for help with food, shelter, and warmth. Early settlers saw their neighbors as their extended family, and in order to conserve resources while keeping each other’s spirits boosted during the long, dark, frigid winters, several families would gather together around a single fire each evening, alternating homes within their community. 

As I trekked across the South of Iceland, I couldn’t help but notice the genuine connections that bind the people together to this day. Everyone seemed to know each other by name, and they were quick to lend a hand or share a joke. They portray a deep sense of belonging and pride in their heritage. Today they still gather together to keep warm - although now it’s around geothermal community pools instead of fireplaces. They all seem to inherently understand that togetherness is the key to weathering life’s harshest storms.

In a world that is increasingly connected digitally, we are more disconnected physically and emotionally than ever. With the comforts of our cell phones, T.V.’s, and gaming devices, many people don’t feel the need to leave the house often. We seek connection through texts and social media. And when we do gather, we’re often so out of touch that our conversations run surface deep, and snapping photos takes priority over being present for each other.

With our modern day luxuries, most of us no longer physically need to gather for warmth or protection, but we all still need emotional support. We were not created to be isolated individuals, and our bodies actually function best when we have plenty of opportunities to co-regulate. When we simply hug, hold hands, or sit calmly by someone else, we are better able to manage our emotions and handle stress. And when we are able to practice active listening and empathy, we not only provide emotional support but we can also help others find new solutions to challenges together. Engaging and sharing experiences strengthens bonds and creates a sense of purpose. And like the Icelandic people, fostering a strong sense of community can build a foundation of support and resilience that will carry us through life’s most challenging moments.

3. How to pronounce things in Iceland: Say it very fast, and say it with confidence.

The Icelandic language is one of the world’s oldest languages. It’s filled with long words with many syllables, unique sounds, a few extra letters, and a lot of dots that throw off an English speaker like me. It was, to say the least, an intimidating task to even pronounce landmarks to locals. Yet, my guide quickly advised us of a trick, “Say it fast, and say it with confidence.” They will know what you mean and respect your attempt. That makes sense I thought. Like most first impressions, it’s not what you say but how you say it that counts.

I spend a lot of time thinking about the unspoken communication that takes place in all of our lives. It’s something I’ve learned to tune into, and I’m fascinated by its power. Some people spout out one piece of advice after another, and it registers as if they said nothing at all. While others sit silently, and their sheer presence brings you an inner calmness and clarity. My two-year-old refuses to interact with some people, and with others she’d gladly go home with. I feel the urge to look up from my book at the coffee shop and lock eyes with the person next to me who’s staring at me. And when we are in deep alignment with another, there are brain and heart wave synchronizations greater than the sum of their parts.

With every new interaction, remember that there’s an invisible exchange, a synchronization of vibes that occurs without us consciously realizing it. And with that knowledge, give your greatest intent and bring your best energy. People may not remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel. Genuine interactions and confidence will take you farther than you can imagine.

4. Nothing is permanent but change.

You’ve heard this saying before, but on an island ruled by seismic shifts, you quickly observe the impermanence of all things through a magnifying glass. You see how rapidly landscapes transform and how everything has its season.

One of the top excursions on my Icelandic itinerary was a glacier and ice cave expedition. I found it so interesting that there were no details in advance. First our guides warned that they didn’t have an estimate of how much elevation we would gain. The glacier is different every day due to the precipitation, the sun, and the wind. One day we can follow a known path, and the next day we may have to forge a new one. And when asked where the ice cave was located, again no promises could be made. Some ice caves close up after a few weeks, while others last for several years.

Aurora Borealis, Reykjanesbaer, Iceland

I’d be remiss not to mention the magical Aurora Borealis as well. The Aurora Borealis, more commonly known as the Northern Lights, change significantly over an 11-year solar cycle, reaching peaks of activity during solar maximum (which is this year). I knew this prior to booking my trip and had strong faith I would see them. What I didn’t realize is that no two nights were even remotely similar. One night I saw subtle yellow rays and the next night nothing. The following night there were purple faces in the sky blowing out dashes of green smoke, and the final night the Auroras danced in all their glory for hours on end. I mentioned this to our driver, and he nodded his head, adding, “We have a beautiful stage with different performers each night, and half the time they don’t show up. You’re very lucky.”

Life is as fleeting as an aurora. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Impermanence means inevitable endings to things we cherish, but it also means new beginnings and potential. If you’re stuck in a tough situation, rest assured: it won’t last forever. Every moment carries the possibility of something new emerging. As human beings, change allows us to step out of old mindsets, gain new perspectives, and keep us grounded. At first glance, it might feel unsettling. After all, we often resist change, clinging to what we love and avoiding what we fear. But isn’t it the fleeting nature of things that makes them precious? A sunset wouldn’t be breathtaking if it lasted forever. Many of our struggles come from clinging—wanting things to stay the same or fearing their loss. Recognizing impermanence helps us let go. Instead of trying to freeze life in place, we can flow with it.

So just remember, it will be a different glacier tomorrow. A different waterfall next season. A different display of lights next year. Like nothing else, this impermanence can teach us how to treasure every aspect of life and how to live fully. Let’s not wait.

Reynisfjara Black Sand Beach, Iceland